We're facebook friends in real life
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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