Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
