I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
