he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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