That's when you crack a 10am beer
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
