At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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