what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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