I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
