I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize