ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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