Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
