oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
