Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
