Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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