xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
