Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
