maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
