You can't motorboat a personality
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
