just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
do herpes really smell.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize