I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
