worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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