I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
