Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
