im drinking this country out of the recession.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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