How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
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