PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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