whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
