He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
