i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
