dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
