ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
