I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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