so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
