Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
