Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
