He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
honey bunches of taint.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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