In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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