If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
