But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Sober January is a disaster.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
