Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
