I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
