shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
