Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize