You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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