Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
