I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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