ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
