It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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