i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
