At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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