how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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