so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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