you guys were way drunker than both of me
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
