I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
