I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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