closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize