Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
