i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
