Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just made my gag reflex go away.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
