Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
