We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
