i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
