my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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