and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
