the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
