IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
