I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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